Do you speak Engrish?

This is a sign I saw outside a café in Yokohama. Despite being in need of a coffee (and who isn't in need of a side helping of smile?), I decided not to visit this particular establishment.

On a related subject, I was recently introduced to the website Engrish.com. As you may have guessed, it shows amusing Japanese to English translations people have stumbled across. There are also translations from other languages. You may well have heard of it before. If not, you should check it out. It's pretty funny.

Yokohama: back to the future

The weekend just gone I took a day trip to Yokohama, Japan's second biggest city. While it is technically a different city, it's only half an hour away by train and has become almost connected to Tokyo due to continuing expansion of the urban sprawl.

Due to the arrival of an American fleet in 1853, Yokohama rapidly went from small fishing village to major international port as the Japanese finally embraced other countries. It became the gateway for Western influence and as a result, there is a palpable sense of history, which you tend not to get in Tokyo.

I started by ascending the Landmark Tower, which stands at 296 metres and is the country's tallest building. The lift to the top was incredibly quick, taking 40 seconds to reach the summit at 45km/h. It was a slightly overcast day, but you could see the Tokyo skyline approaching like an army on the horizon with Mount Fuji peaking out of the clouds on the opposite side.

I then went to the Yokohama Art Museum. It included Japanese paintings, sculptures and scriptures from the 1800's as well as some more modern works. There were also pieces by Picasso and Cezanne. In addition, I enjoyed looking at a collection of photos taken on the remote islands of Okinawa (off the South coast). They focused on the US forces that were stationed there following World War II and revealed interesting tales of island life. To give you an idea of how remote these islands are, they are reachable via a 25 hour boat ride from the bottom of Japan.

After the Art Museum, I visited the 'Yokohama Archives of History', which gave greater detail on how Yokohama was such an important part of modernising Japan. It was interesting to look at the maps and see how the city transformed. Everything was destroyed by the Earthquake of 1923 and then again during World War II, but it was built back almost identically. The second picture below is from the original 'Guide to Yokohama', first published in 1860, although this version is from 1865/66.

For lunch I went to Chinatown, having overdosed on Japanese food the last few weeks. It's the biggest of its kind in Japan as over 6,000 Chinese came to Yokohama (mainly from Shanghai) when the trade agreement was signed and they still have a big population in the city today.

I finished the day wandering around the Yokohama Red Brick Warehouse. Originally used as customs buildings, they have now been converted into a trendy shopping and restaurant promenade.

An introduction to Japanese culture

This video is a few years old and has had more than 2.7 million views, but I hadn't seen it before so figured I'd share it.

It's a very tongue-in-cheek introduction to Japanese culture via the art of sushi consumption. The funniest thing for me was that some of it did actually resemble experiences I've had in the last few weeks.

The kid above has nothing to do with the video other than he is dressed as a huge piece of sushi.

Kyoto: temples, shrines and being left on the shelf

Before I officially started work, I decided to go to Kyoto for a few days. Why? Well, according to my trusted advisor (Lonely Planet), it's the place to go if you want to see what Japan is all about. It has 17 Unesco World Heritage Sites, 1600 Buddhist temples and over 400 Shinto shrines to support this statement. It's also surrounded by mountains on three sides, which makes for a stunning backdrop.

I stayed in a traditional Japanese guest house (ryokan), which I had all to myself. It was very cold, even with the heaters, but I'm glad I tried it. It was so cold that on the second morning, the whole place was covered in snow, even though the day before I hadn't seen a single snowflake.

One of the best spots I visited was Nanzen-ji, a stunning collection of temples and gardens. It also had a unique feature behind one of the temples where curved wooden walkways had been built into the contours of the mountain. These are called 'garyuro' because they represent sleeping dragons (pictured above). The pathways lead up to a pagoda that gave a panoramic view back across the city (see below).

The next place I went was Fushimi-Inari Taisha, a shrine complex dedicated to the gods of rice and sake. Speaking of rice, on my second day in Kyoto, I was desparately searching for a breakfast place that would give me just eggs and coffee. I found a place serving an 'omelette set', complete with curried mince inside the omelette, some sort of gravy poured on top and, of course, rice on the side. After five long minutes of mis-communication and picture drawing with a woman mystified as to why I wouldn't want rice, let along the other stuff, I got my omelette ('just eggs!?!?') and a coffee. What a palaver.

Fushimi-Inari Taisha has bright orange everywhere you look, including the large poles ('torii') that guide you on the 4k walk up the mountain side to a lake in the middle of a forest. The Dutch would love it. I also had my picture taken with a couple of women dressed as geisha and some Japanese school girls asked if they could have their picture taken with me. They asked how old I was and if I was married. When I told them I was 26 and single, they replied: 'What is wrong with you?' My pride at being asked suddenly deflated. I consoled myself by thinking this must be what George Clooney feels like when people always ask why he isn't hitched.

I went to many other temples (including the golden one at the top of the post), but the ones mentioned were the highlights. I also visited the International Manga Museum, which has over 300,000 comics. I'd recommend this as a good detour from the temples and shrines if anyone is visiting Kyoto.

The mother of all culture shocks

I've been in Tokyo for a week and it's been by far the most bizarre week of my life; like I stepped into a parallel universe the minute I got off the plane. I wanted a challenge and I wanted an adventure. I've got both in spades.

It would be impossible to summarise everything, but here are some things that stand out:

• Outside the office, people speak barely any English. Much less than any other country I've travelled to. It's surprising how far gesticulating wildly and drawing pictures can get you, but to say this is a challenge is an understatement
• There are more restaurants and small bars ('izakaya') than you could visit in a hundred lifetimes and the food is really good, even if you're not quite sure what you're eating. For example, I ate smoked eel the other day without knowing (in Japan, it's rude to ask what the food is before you eat it)
• There are hardly any non-Japanese people in the city (excluding Koreans). When you see another foreigner, especially one who appears to be working in Tokyo, you give each other a look that says 'oh, so you're crazy too?'
• It's a myth that people always take their shoes off when entering offices, restaurants and other buildings and wear special shoes in the toilet. This is only in someone's home or a place of spiritual importance
• It's really tricky to open a bank account (partly because of the aforementioned lack of English), but also because of extra red-tape. In addition to your signature, you also need your own personal stamp that you have to get made at a special shop. It can be whatever combination of letters and symbols that you want. I thought long and hard and went for 'Alex' (I know, very creative)
• Even in Japan, I still get mistaken for Elijah Wood. My colleagues decided on day one that I will go to this year's Halloween party as Frodo Baggins. Some things never change...

As for the pictures, the top one is taken on the main inter-section in Roppongi, the area I'm staying in for the first month. I'm in an apartment right behind the glowing neon lights you can see across the road. The second one is taken at an incense caldron next to a temple in Asakusa. The Japanese believe the smoke gives you good health so they were all rubbing smoke into their faces. This was one activity I decided not to take part in. The third picture is the temple itself. Oh, and the picture below is a deep fried apricot (don't ask me why it's pink).